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(Also: There are tons of gay guys out there into spanking, SPANK.

So if you aren't finding any, I can only conclude that you aren't looking.) I'm wondering about the application of the term "bear" to a straight man, such as myself.

The adage applies to romantic/sexual success as well as professional success, SACK, but showing up easily accounts for 90 percent of success in the BDSM/leather/fetish scene.

It's not that they're closeted—most of them go on to have girlfriends, and that's when we stop—and they make it clear they don't want anything sexual to happen. And how do you know they aren't closing their eyes and imagining that you're a woman when you're spanking them?

And how do you know they're not bi—at least where spankings are concerned?

It provided an easy way into the community, and it helped me meet new people, make new friends, and find trustworthy play partners.

If you're a tad shy and work better online, these contingents have Facebook groups or Fet Life pages you can join.

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