Beware of Red Flags Psychologists at the University of Wisconsin at Madison found that online daters who used fewer first-person pronouns—presumably to avoid spelling out who they really are—were more likely to be lying.And, according to Davis, when a man says "I hate drama," he means he has plenty already; "ready to move on" implies that he's not; the words 6.
They want to be the most important man in a women’s life.Play the Field"It's important to be in more than one community," Davis says."It's like being in more than one social circle." She suggests joining one mainstream site (say, e Harmony or Match.com) as well as one niche service, such as Cupidtino, which brings Apple-product obsessives together, or the unapologetically elitist Sparkology (the site's men—but not its women! "Changing sites from time to time, and then revisiting, is the best strategy," says Davis. Ace Your Profile"Your user name is going to inspire them to click," says Davis, who suggests a terminology mash-up (e.g., Sporty Smile).But such lightweight openers are disarming, approachable."If someone said to you 'I'm uncomplicated, generally in a happy mood, and I like to do stuff,' you'd want to hang out with him or her, right?According to Slater, it's one of the few business models in which clients' failures are the company's win—the longer we seek, the more money they make.Aiming to short-circuit this cycle, "e-flirt expert" Laurie Davis' hyperprescriptive 1.Make Contact Webb suggests keeping messages brief—98 words each, ideally—and individualized to each recipient: Ask yourself, What do I like about him?Choose three new people to e-mail a day until you have a full roster of prospects, Davis advises, and take it off-line quickly—a date should be set up in six or fewer e-mails.And she did: On JDate, Match.com, and e Harmony, she met guys who were six inches shorter or 30 pounds heavier than advertised; who picked expensive restaurants and passed the check to her; and who told her, mid drink, that they were married.One night, after another bad match and a solo bottle of wine, Webb rejoined JDate—this time posing as a man, to check out her competition. Webb crafted 10 male profiles so perfect they had to be fake (sample code name: Jewish Doc1000) to gather data: what the site's most popular women looked like, which keywords they used, how they timed their messages."It seemed strange now, that I'd just slap together my online dating profile, when I'd spent days agonizing over my résumé, tweaking and massaging it to land the perfect job," Webb writes in (Duffon), one of three new books about online dating out this month, in which she recounts how she cracked the online dating code to meet her now husband.